The temperature just dropped and women everywhere are rejoicing-- and it's not because pumpkin spice lattes are back. We can finally wear pants again, which means we can finally end the unstable, emotionally draining relationship with our razors...at least for a few months.
Ah, I can finally relax. The time spent shaving my legs can once again be devoted to important, personally fulfilling activities, like watching Netflix and not texting anyone back. As my boyfriend found me lying on the couch in one of my 27 pairs of identical black leggings last weekend, he couldn't understand why I was in such a good mood. I automatically assumed, as with most things, that men would just never understand the pure agony of having to shave their legs everyday. But then I remembered all the times I watched him scratch his chin with disgust like he was trying to comprehend why facial hair existed. That's when I thought, maybe he does understand.
Before he could even ask why simply existing in my leggings made me so happy, I blurted out, "You know how you complain about shaving your chin? That's the knee. And I don't have to shave it until April."
"The knee? You're happy because you don't have to shave your knees?"
Yes. Can we all just agree that the knee is the worst part about shaving? It's round and there are too many oddly shaped bones (or is it cartilage?), and I always walk out of the shower with blood dripping down my calves. Do you bend it? Do you keep it straight? Either way, I hate it. I stopped bothering to seriously shave my knees in 8th grade. Shaving your knees is like your college textbooks-- you skim over them just to say you did and make yourself look good, but you might as well have not done anything at all.
After ranting to my boyfriend for a solid 45 minutes about how torturous it is to shave my knees, I decided to do some research. There's got to be some woman out there who figured out the secret to knee-shaving, and I need her to enlighten me. Well, turns out her name is Google, and she had some advice for all of us who dare to try and shave our Patella.
First of all, you're supposed to shave in warm water. Well, duh. I think we all know by now shaving goose bumps is unnecessarily uncomfortable. The second step is to lube up. Lubricating shave cream is the way to go, but if you're like me and go through bottles of that in a week and are too lazy to keep buying more, just use a lot of soap or hair conditioner.
Now that you have warm water and your desired shave cream, you'll need a razor. A fresh razor with at least three blades will work best. The longer you use a razor, the duller the blades become, making it more likely to cut yourself or irritate the skin. Now here's where Google actually told me something useful- keep your knee bent when shaving, and if you have to, pull the skin taught. Shave using short strokes in varying directions. Then, straighten your knee to see where you missed any hairs. That's it. That's the big secret to shaving your knees.
So although I didn’t learn anything groundbreakingfrom my extensive research, I got a few good tips. And if all else fails, I take comfort in the fact that I have my leggings to hide behind for the next few months. That’s more than I can say for my boyfriend and his chin.